domestic bliss or blisters?

lately (and by lately i mean since i got married last year) i have come to find myself in pure domestic bliss. cooking, sewing, baking, organizing; i really enjoy it and this winter has been full of it all. somewhere between finding the perfect low-fat banana bread recipe and hemming the jeans i have been secretly pinning for months (years?), i started pondering this state of bliss.

it is quite interesting to me that i am enjoying things that my mothers mother had plenty of, but my own mother had very little of once i came along-time to enjoy domestic life. in my mother's situation she had no choice but to land a career since my father was ill. for a while my father couldn't work at all, so he learned to cook while my mother paid the bills. but most of what i saw growing up was women putting their careers first, cooking last-even the word 'domestic' somehow translated into letting a man tell your place in this world. then there is the woman who does it all-the career, the child, the clean linens and somehow has time to bake a dozen chocolate cup cakes for fun and still maintain happiness.

having seen two extremes-(my grandmother who had 12 children, a garden to feed them with and a husband to bring in the money to support the details and my own hard working mother had no time to really consider much else)-i have made a world that allows me creative freedom to live healthy and happy minus the children (for now). i can chase the career i really want, the man i really want, the home i really want, the wardrobe i really want, and what is it i really want??

i want to make paintings, make cookies, sew duplicate versions of my favorite undies, hem my jeans so they don't get all gummy and nasty as they drag along the streets of oakland, make new playlists of music i like to sing to, pin inspirational mish-mash on my bulletin board, read poetry, read the paper, draw cartoons of the people who piss me off, write music about cats with my husband, make brooches, sew stuffed animals, have finger puppet shows, make the bed cozier, drink tea, do yoga, do anything and everything i can to make this moment a little sweeter and share that with the people i love.

i find it inspiring to see others i know do the mommy thing with the greatest of ease and the greatest of love. i know that it is not easy, sacrifice never is, but love is the ultimate driving force in this world. i do know that i am nowhere near making that very personal decision- so kids aside- what i am loving and therefore being driven by, is the idea of getting in touch with domesticity since i now have the time.

having this time is blissful. it reminds me of when i was younger and had moments of solitude in which to create my own world. i think it is so important to have space-especially emotional space-in which to create more beauty, heal wounds, invent new traditions, or even just stare into nothingness or watch the rain and the wind tussle with the trees, or as my grandmother said often, "remember to stop and smell the roses". she was right, otherwise life is one big chore filled with domestic blisters.